Breh

To that one 4chan anon who found my NG page and worried that Im suicidal because of my wallowing in self-pity!

Im fine!

Mostly!

I have a drinking problem and a comfort-eating addiction but Im also in therapy, Ive taken up a sewing hobby and have a loving and supportive immediate family, as well as a precious and deeply important texan boyfriend that all keep me attached to this life

Im not suicidal! Im just deeply nihilistic and dispassionate about life!

NOT THE SAME THING!

..I dont think

anyway Im not going anywhere

I need to repay my debts to all the people who have helped me and lifted me up, and Im fairly sure they would demand my continued existence as payment.

I kind of

died inside

hard

I tried a couple times to get my shit together and make something of myself, and I failed because ofcourse I did, noone establishes themselves in the world on their first few tries

But uh, my attempts and failures completely broke me

So Ive been just existing a hollow existence for the last 5 years trying to, at a fucking GLACIAL speed, self-repair the breakage from completely normal and natural fuckups

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

WHERE THE NEW MUSIC IS?

LET ME TELL YOU. THERE ISN'T ANY. I have not, in all this time, made a single piece that I am even remotely pleased with.

I have been trying, yes. Struggling at length with this creative slump trying to make a series of noises that appeals to me, and I have just been utterly unable to do so.

No, noone has contacted me or asked me, so I understand that there aren't many of you who are even wondering. But just incase, I am informing you now. I haven't stopped, and I haven't given up. I'm just very hard on myself and my works because the thought of bringing the public anything other than my best feels so unthinkably insulting I cannot bear it.

My works might not be very good but they go through my most relentless scrutiny that what you hear is the best I have to offer at the time.

Even if I produce nothing for years this will continue to be the case. I will only bring you good people my best efforts, and so that is why you have heard nothing form me. My best has simply not been up to par.

HOLY JESUS FUCK I HAVE FANS

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

ALRIGHT
My reason for continuing to make music is rrefreshed anew

NOW I HAVE FANS TO WORK FOR
AH MA GAHD